Speaker A [0:15 - 0:17]: In the case of nuclear or radiological.
Gotfree [0:17 - 0:25]: Fallout, people living around potential targets, you.
Speaker A [0:26 - 0:28]: Shouldn'T leave your shelter until officials say so.
Houston [0:29 - 0:54]: The Big Red button is a production of the Grapefruit network. The Gravethru network? What kind of stupid name is that? To learn more about this show, visit us at Bigredbutton show and to find out more about the other. Wait, there are more? There's more of this crap about the other shows in our network? Head on over to thegrapefruitnetwork.com. Who paid for the branding on this? This is terrible.
Alex/Jake [1:01 - 1:14]: So when I was in the vault, we had these things that were like audio recordings. Apparently, this is an audio recording, and I'm in it, and that's. This is what happened last time on the Big Red button podcast.
Dallas [1:14 - 1:17]: You hear a sound, I freeze, immediately.
Alex/Jake [1:17 - 1:19]: Drop really, really low to the ground.
Dallas [1:19 - 1:21]: It doesn't sound like this is a small animal.
Houston [1:21 - 1:22]: Three dogs.
Alex/Jake [1:23 - 1:29]: Mongrel dogs, it looks like, for queen and dumpster over here.
Dallas [1:29 - 1:34]: The mongrel, the first one that was closest to you takes off. Galapin.
Gotfree [1:34 - 1:38]: I feel like I need to be rewarded for these roles.
Alex/Jake [1:38 - 1:40]: This does not feel like a success.
Gotfree [1:40 - 1:44]: Excuse me, will one of you idiots take a shot?
Houston [1:44 - 1:47]: And I just wail at the first dog.
Gotfree [1:47 - 1:48]: Whoa.
Alex/Jake [1:49 - 1:50]: And I fire.
Dallas [1:50 - 1:54]: You blasted a hole through this dog.
Alex/Jake [1:54 - 1:58]: You should see me now, sheriff. You should see me now, Sheriff iron hand.
Gotfree [1:59 - 2:04]: My flamethrower swings around in front of my face.
Dallas [2:04 - 2:13]: Flames bathe the dog, but the one that's closest to you takes a bite, and it latches on.
Alex/Jake [2:13 - 2:14]: Ow, ow, ow.
Gotfree [2:14 - 2:17]: You manji mite. Get off of me.
Alex/Jake [2:17 - 2:17]: Get off of me.
Gotfree [2:18 - 2:18]: Get off of me.
Alex/Jake [2:19 - 2:22]: I'm not gonna let them down again. I aim the 44.
Dallas [2:22 - 2:37]: That's a hit. Gives one last dying howl before it expires in a pool of its own blood, guts. And the fight is now over, at least between these three mangy pooches.
Houston [2:37 - 2:45]: All right, now that that unpleasantness is over, I think we should probably check out what's in that burned out car over there.
Gotfree [2:45 - 2:50]: I woke up to the wreckage of the car and make some proceedings.
Dallas [2:50 - 3:03]: You kick your lights on as you look around and you see that there is blood everywhere. Tug is kind of jammed into the windshield of maybe a helmet to a piece of power armor.
Alex/Jake [3:03 - 3:07]: Oh, no. Do you guys think that the woman.
Gotfree [3:07 - 3:09]: She killed him ripped his head off?
Dallas [3:09 - 3:34]: And a form steps out from behind the tree. A shot rings out, and it tears through Houston's shoulder as one of the optical sensors of Godfrey's is smashed into pieces. Houston, Godfrey and Jake's world goes black as a hood. He gets put over his head and he gets dragged to the ground.
Speaker A [3:35 - 3:38]: Look at this tasty morsel we found.
Alex/Jake [3:42 - 4:22]: Welcome back to another adventure on the Big Red Button podcast. My name is Alex, and I am joined tonight by the rest of the stragglers and our overseer, Dallas. And if it's your first time dropping by, glad to have you. Welcome. We are a narrative role playing game, an actual play where the roll of the dice determines our fate. We are basically dungeons and dragons for fallout, and we are inhabiting the world of post apocalyptic. Post apocalyptic. Post apocalyptic Michigan.
Dallas [4:22 - 4:47]: So we have our stragglers dangling when we left off, and we. Yeah, they are a little different, maybe a little worse for wear now. And we have our Jake winger, played by our voluptuous. No. Oh, Alex.
Alex/Jake [4:47 - 5:12]: Supple, even. Yes, I'm Jake. I'm just gonna say that I am going to have to take up a complaint with management when I get back. This is not what they told us it was going to be like. I was told that I was going to be in charge, helping make everything better, and then now it's just way worse. So that's all I have for now. I'm going to bite my tongue so that.
Houston [5:12 - 5:19]: That's mental management for you. They throw you out into the wasteland, that you get all the responsibility and all of the blame.
Alex/Jake [5:19 - 5:22]: That sound. That's how it feels sometimes, Houston. That's how it feels.
Houston [5:23 - 5:24]: Well, I still blame you anyways.
Dallas [5:24 - 5:32]: If you can find a phone in a working complaint department somewhere that isn't full of ghouls, you go right for it.
Alex/Jake [5:32 - 5:37]: I'm taking it straight to the top. I don't know who that is. I don't know who that is. But I will take it to them.
Houston [5:37 - 5:38]: Jeff Bezos.
Dallas [5:40 - 5:48]: We also have our third eye blind robo companion, Godfrey.
Alex/Jake [5:48 - 5:50]: Oh, that's messed up, man.
Dallas [5:50 - 5:54]: Played by our just as Clanky William.
Alex/Jake [5:54 - 5:57]: Well, what the fuck is wrong with you, man?
Gotfree [5:58 - 6:08]: I don't know about you individuals, you keep saying, this is not what I signed up for. I don't remember signing my name to any sort of ledger. I'm ready to go back in the vault. This is atrocious.
Alex/Jake [6:08 - 6:12]: And as someone who handled all the ledgers, you would know if your name was on it.
Gotfree [6:12 - 6:15]: I would, yes. As I've said before, my memory is impeccable.
Alex/Jake [6:16 - 6:23]: Except when we're told not to tell people about cannibals, apparently. Then it's just laissez faire.
Dallas [6:23 - 6:25]: This is what happens. This is a direction except my memory.
Gotfree [6:25 - 6:32]: Systems are unbeckable self control. But it's if he. At best. But.
Dallas [6:34 - 6:45]: We also have our crusty companion, the oldest one amongst us, Houston, played by our even older, but less crusty cody.
Alex/Jake [6:45 - 6:47]: He's only 400 years old.
Houston [6:47 - 7:05]: Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but I woke up this morning, and I was definitely crusty. Like a good. Like a crab. And frankly, I didn't want to be here. I don't even like these people. I don't know why I stick around with them. And honestly, listeners, why are you even still listening to this? This is atrocious. Wait a second. Worst.
Alex/Jake [7:05 - 7:10]: Houston has started the break. Breaking the fourth wall, too. I want to break the fourth wall.
Dallas [7:11 - 7:15]: Intros, there's no bounds. No bounds in the intro.
Alex/Jake [7:15 - 7:16]: Jake.
Houston [7:16 - 7:19]: Jake, there is no fourth wall. The fourth wall doesn't exist.
Alex/Jake [7:19 - 7:21]: What are you talking about, Houston?
Houston [7:21 - 7:23]: It can't be broken if it doesn't exist.
Alex/Jake [7:23 - 7:25]: There's no rules. I'm gonna take my shirt.
Houston [7:25 - 7:27]: Yeah, there's one rule. There's one rule.
Alex/Jake [7:29 - 7:30]: That's where you go.
Dallas [7:30 - 7:39]: Everybody else is like, reality doesn't exist. You're like, I'm gonna take my shirt off. What a rebel. Rotate.
Gotfree [7:39 - 7:43]: Gotta rotate around. Point the busted eyeball in his direction.
Speaker A [7:43 - 8:03]: I'm a big, scary cannibal. If he takes his shirt off, it makes it easier to flay him. Actually, I remember the lesson from the last episode. It's flay, not flay. I thought you got a flame to filet him. I don't know. I don't know why both of us sound the exact same. Now I understand why it's so hard for Dallas to do this.
Dallas [8:03 - 8:14]: There we go. You understand my plight now. So last time that we were checking in on our stragglers, they were out.
Alex/Jake [8:14 - 8:15]: Checking out.
Dallas [8:15 - 9:18]: Checking out. They were going north east to look for lady to turn into the brotherhood of steel, like any good set of snitches would, and try to get a fusion core for the whereabouts of a synth lady. But on their trek, they found some remains of what looked like a brotherhood of steel surveying group or recon group. They were jumped and are now worse for wear. Houston has a gunshot wound. Our Godfrey is missing an eye, perhaps. And all of them are now tied up, hoods over their eyes and or remaining eye stalks. And they're being carried away by what they are assuming are the cultists, because they did hear them talk about presenting our one still preserved, young, strapping, sexy, supple.
Alex/Jake [9:18 - 9:25]: I believe you said voluptuous. Yes, I believe yeah, yeah, keep going. You said intelligent.
Dallas [9:25 - 9:30]: I think they're gonna eat you. Perhaps. So that's where we left off.
Gotfree [9:30 - 9:40]: Oh, those weren't. Those weren't compliments. Those were merely commenting on his lean to fat muscle ratio. How juicy of a burger is he going to become?
Houston [9:41 - 9:47]: Look, I think I'm quite literally beef jerky at this point, so I don't want to take any more chances.
Dallas [9:47 - 10:12]: So you've been carried off. It has been a couple of hours since you have been tied up and been dragged and carried and beaten, banged around, and you have no clue where you are. That is where we are right now. But you do hear the cultists arguing back and forth about what they should do and what they should maybe do to you guys.
Speaker A [10:13 - 10:24]: So what are we gonna do with these guys? Can't eat the male one, and the other one's all tough and dried out, but we still got at last good one.
Alex/Jake [10:24 - 10:28]: I think, first of all, that was freaky.
Houston [10:28 - 10:35]: I was like, who's talking? I thought we had our first dynamic ad in a lot.
Alex/Jake [10:35 - 10:45]: Oh, my gosh, that was wacky. I mean, I realized it's AI after the fact, but then I'm like, whoa. Damn it, man.
Speaker F [10:45 - 10:47]: You know we're not allowed to eat them.
Alex/Jake [10:48 - 11:00]: These are for the sacrifice, and if we eat them, he'll eat us. Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm over here. Can you please. I'm trying.
Speaker A [11:01 - 11:05]: Silence. Okay, no talking from the sacrifices.
Alex/Jake [11:05 - 11:06]: Sacrifice?
Speaker A [11:06 - 11:11]: I think our best bet is to throw that iron thing in the river. He's no use to us.
Gotfree [11:11 - 11:14]: I've already analyzed your composition. You are iron deficient.
Speaker F [11:14 - 11:16]: How is he still alive?
Gotfree [11:16 - 11:18]: Well, are you still alive? I I.
Speaker F [11:18 - 11:22]: You put socks on his eyes, and I thought you knocked him out.
Gotfree [11:22 - 11:26]: Good luck finding my speaker grill. I am going to.
Alex/Jake [11:29 - 11:45]: Listen. This is why we eat him now, and this is why we go ahead and get rid of all of them, because this is how it's gonna be the whole time, and I'm not putting up with it. We can find something else to give to the leader. He doesn't know that we have this one.
Dallas [11:47 - 12:43]: So as you guys are preparing for the end, you hear some confusion, and you hear a roughness, and then silence. No more talking. Nothing except for some deep, heavy breathing as you're all three lifted into the air with very strong hands, way higher up than the cultists have. I was trying to describe that. I just keep seeing Alex with stuff in his mouth, and it transported me right there. I was there.
Alex/Jake [12:44 - 12:47]: To where? On site. We were there on the site.
Dallas [12:47 - 13:00]: I was there. Yeah. Uh, so you you can't. You can't see what's going on, but you are lifted up, uh, very easily and taken for a very long time. You hear? No talking. Complete silence.
Houston [13:00 - 13:02]: You're not as voluptuous as you think.
Gotfree [13:07 - 13:21]: Overseer. How am I bound currently? I know I've got socks over my eyes. Socks? Luckily, I I knew enough and I had enough foresight to turn off my olfactory sensors. How am I bound currently?
Dallas [13:21 - 13:28]: There are socks over your eye stalks. Your thrusters have been disabled. All of your arms.
Gotfree [13:28 - 13:31]: How did they know how to disable my thrusters?
Dallas [13:31 - 13:32]: You know, they've been around the block.
Gotfree [13:32 - 13:37]: That is a closely guarded secret between me and my maker.
Alex/Jake [13:37 - 13:45]: Buddy, I'm sorry to tell you this, but the robbery coat manual is public information. I didn't know how to turn you off.
Gotfree [13:45 - 13:48]: Blast. He has a point, and I hate it when he has a point.
Alex/Jake [13:49 - 13:55]: I'll shut up now. Is it intelligible? Can you all tell what I'm saying?
Dallas [13:55 - 13:55]: Yeah.
Alex/Jake [13:56 - 13:57]: Okay, good.
Gotfree [13:59 - 14:02]: How are my arms bound again?
Dallas [14:02 - 14:10]: They are all tied together, and they are strapped with extra thick straps to your body. You cannot.
Gotfree [14:10 - 14:12]: Extra thick straps.
Alex/Jake [14:12 - 14:17]: If this was a regular Friday night, this would actually be kind of exciting.
Gotfree [14:18 - 14:21]: How close in proximity to the others am I?
Dallas [14:21 - 14:32]: You can't tell. As of right now, you cannot tell because you cannot see and are a little bit disoriented because you are being carried on your side. Would you like to make a perception?
Gotfree [14:32 - 14:38]: Wrong. I would like to perceive whether or not I am currently jostling into my compatriots as I am being carried.
Dallas [14:38 - 14:51]: Oh, you are not. You're not being jostled into them. You are being held like there's an arm wrapped all the way around you. You're being carried on. What you feel like is their shoulder as you're being.
Gotfree [14:51 - 15:00]: I carried along, would like to fire my flamethrower attachment. My arm is being attached. It should still be functional.
Dallas [15:01 - 15:25]: Okay, so you go to light your flamer attachment because the pilot light has gone out. And as you go to light the little pilot light, you feel something clamp over your pilot light and snuffs it out, not aggressively, but firmly stops your flamer from flamer fuel.
Gotfree [15:25 - 15:30]: Why did I oddly feel comforted by that firm touch? Anyway, I go to fire.
Alex/Jake [15:30 - 15:34]: The buzzsaw got me. Knock it off.
Gotfree [15:35 - 15:39]: Knock it off. I am trying to knock it off. I'm trying to knock off the restraints. I'm trying to knock off the.
Dallas [15:40 - 15:56]: So your buzzsaw arm is folded and collapsed on in, like, kind of tucked into what would be the robotic equivalent of your armpit blast, latched fairly close. So if you did kick it on, it would. It would saw your own arm off, potentially harming others as well.
Gotfree [15:56 - 16:04]: But no, nevermind, never mind. I shall just go complacent and stop talking and accept my fate.
Houston [16:05 - 16:07]: How am I tied up?
Dallas [16:07 - 16:16]: Your arms are bound and so are your legs. And there is a hood over your face as well. And you still have your gunshot wound to the shoulder, okay?
Houston [16:16 - 16:17]: So there's not much movement to be had here.
Dallas [16:17 - 16:24]: There is nothing. And you're very old, so you're not as limber as you used to be 200 years ago.
Alex/Jake [16:24 - 16:33]: You're not voluptuous either. Why am I still bound to gag? Why am I pitiful?
Houston [16:33 - 16:35]: I actually think it's an improvement.
Dallas [16:35 - 16:39]: I never said you were gagged. That's something that you asked.
Alex/Jake [16:40 - 16:42]: Headcanon accepted.
Dallas [16:42 - 16:45]: That was a request, I think, that you made that.
Houston [16:45 - 16:48]: I find it. It's the biggest improvement of the game so far.
Dallas [16:48 - 18:18]: So you guys are carried for a few hours and are set gently down onto the ground, still bound, still have hoods over your eyes or what remains of your eyes. But you hear some subtle movements around where you guys have been sitting down. And so you hear murmurs from what sounds like multiple people as they mill about Houston. You feel somebody working on your gunshot wound and feel somebody stitching up the hole in your shoulder. You feel the sting of some sort of alcohol that has been poured on you. And then you feel wrapped, something being wrapped around your shoulder up Godfrey. You feel the sock come off of your damaged, broken eye stalk. And you feel lots of movements, and there's a lot of clanking going on. It sounds like somebody's working. And they work in complete silence. They have very deft, nimble movements as they go to work. And you start seeing static out of that eye stalk as a not very clear picture comes into view from that eye stalk of a woman walking away. Jake, nothing happens to you.
Speaker F [18:18 - 18:23]: Awesome.
Gotfree [18:23 - 18:24]: McKinley.
Houston [18:24 - 18:25]: What is it, Godfrey?
Gotfree [18:25 - 18:31]: It's what we've been sent on a quest to find a female figure, and one of them is here.
Houston [18:31 - 18:36]: Um, I don't know how to tell you this, but half the population are, in fact, females.
Gotfree [18:37 - 18:51]: Believe me, I am well aware at how futile this quest has been, but I've narrowed out it being male. It's a start. Excuse me, madam. I call out to the figure.
Dallas [18:51 - 19:05]: She doesn't even turn around. And she walks into what looks like a small, small ish shack in some very dark woods, would you like to maybe roll a perception check as to what it is that you can see around you?
Gotfree [19:05 - 19:06]: Yes, please.
Dallas [19:07 - 19:07]: Okay.
Houston [19:08 - 19:09]: Am I still blindfolded?
Dallas [19:09 - 19:13]: Yes, everyone is still blindfolded except for this one.
Gotfree [19:13 - 19:14]: Eyestalk.
Houston [19:14 - 19:14]: Okay.
Gotfree [19:14 - 19:20]: I. I make an attempt to bump up the shut speed. I.
Alex/Jake [19:25 - 19:26]: 15.
Gotfree [19:29 - 19:44]: Two. I have increased. I have successfully increased my ISO to 64,000. Shutter speed is currently operating at one 60th of a second, and my aperture is at a juicy 1.2.
Houston [19:45 - 19:48]: Ladies and gentlemen, he's a photographer in real life.
Dallas [19:50 - 19:52]: I don't know if those are real terms.
Gotfree [19:56 - 20:00]: And I put with my two, I perceive.
Dallas [20:00 - 20:38]: So you see with your two, which you needed a seven in perception and your survival of two. So that means you needed at least a nine. So you knocked it out of the park. Everything becomes fairly clear. There's still some kind of scan lines in your vision. This seems like a very old lens that you're looking through, but everything is very clear and very clean. You are in a deep in the woods there. You're surrounded by very thick trees, lots and lots of vegetation. You are in the middle of a ring of power. Not a ring of power.
Alex/Jake [20:38 - 20:39]: Fire.
Dallas [20:39 - 22:18]: Not a ring of fire. I knew after one came that this ring of fire was coming. A ring of park benches that are around a very well maintained fire pit with a roasting spit in the middle. There is 1237 park benches that are well worn around and one regular chair that is also setting around this fire. The house has a nice little porch. There's a basketball goal. There is where there used to be the door to this very old house. It has been removed. And there's another door in its place, a much larger door where the old door used to be. It is nighttime. There is a nice fire going beside you. And you look at your companions, and it looks like there's been as well, of a patch job that could be done with the unprofessional wraps on Houston. And Jake is hanging out, still mumbling and talking and trying to sweet talk his way through his voluntary gag that he had put on underneath of his. You cannot see your own eye stalk that has been repaired. But as you're looking around, the door opens and out steps a woman with dark hair in a red coat, very pale, the color of ash is the complexion that she has as she steps out, leans against a post and just kind of stares at you guys.
Gotfree [22:18 - 22:23]: Master McKinley, the odds have increased in our favor.
Alex/Jake [22:27 - 22:29]: What's going on?
Houston [22:29 - 22:40]: I mean, you are correct here, but it feels awfully convenient that the woman we're looking for is actually tending our wounds. It's almost like this is a plot.
Alex/Jake [22:41 - 22:44]: Are you saying that the sin found I.
Dallas [22:45 - 22:51]: So she hears the ruckus that you guys are causing, and so she steps off of the porch and approaches.
Houston [22:51 - 22:53]: We're being led by an idiot over here.
Alex/Jake [22:53 - 22:59]: Hey. Okay. He knows. Oh, me. Hey.
Dallas [23:00 - 23:14]: So she approaches, leans down, checks the work on Godfrey, and kind of readjusts the bandages on Houston. So she bends down and she begins to talk to you guys.
Speaker F [23:15 - 23:23]: Do you boys generally make a habit of getting in trouble and getting captured by a bunch of crazy raiders?
Alex/Jake [23:23 - 23:24]: Not normally.
Gotfree [23:24 - 23:38]: I have not been out of my municipal vault for long enough to build habits, but if there's anything I've learned about this wasteland is it's all chaos. I would love some habits. I would love some order. I would love some repetition.
Houston [23:38 - 23:44]: Look, there was a time I was captured by a beautiful woman in the 2170s, but that was a long time ago.
Alex/Jake [23:46 - 23:50]: Can I please cut free? Can I cut free, please?
Houston [23:51 - 23:53]: No. I like him better this way.
Speaker F [23:53 - 24:04]: I want. Listen, I. I will take your all hoods off. I am not taking your bonds off of your hands or your pincers or your flamers.
Houston [24:04 - 24:05]: Kinky.
Speaker F [24:05 - 24:14]: Oh, uh, but I will if you promise to behave. Uh huh. And I can already tell one of you might have been gagged for reasons.
Houston [24:14 - 24:16]: So I think I might have done that.
Speaker F [24:16 - 24:18]: I'm going to take them off.
Dallas [24:19 - 24:45]: She reaches over, and she pulls the hoods and socks off of all of your heads and eye stalks. Are you saying that in the process of us being abducted, you took the opportunity to gag him under the COVID of the abduction? He used his one great sneak roll not to escape or get everyone out, but to gag him during the abduction?
Houston [24:46 - 24:48]: I'm not saying that.
Dallas [24:49 - 25:00]: So, the hoods have been removed, the gag has been taken out of Jake's mouth, but your hands and legs are still bounce, still are not mobile as you lay here.
Gotfree [25:00 - 25:07]: Um, hello, madam. I'm, uh, Godfrey. We all seen the red jacket.
Houston [25:07 - 25:11]: There are lots of red jackets in the world. That doesn't mean anything.
Dallas [25:11 - 25:19]: She kind of self consciously moves her jacket around as you guys are obviously talking where she can hear you.
Gotfree [25:19 - 25:56]: Will you two stop it? Hello, madam. My name is Godfrey. Um, it is. No, no, I'm not allowed to do that. Um, it is pronounced however you see fit, because you seem to have your wits about you, and you are obviously very strong, and I don't want anything else on my person's crushed. So, tell us a bit about yourself.
Speaker F [25:57 - 26:25]: How's about before I tell you about me, you tell me how you ended up being carried away by a bunch of raiders who I overheard talking about eating people. Uh, because it seems to me either you guys are idiots, or you guys have made them very angry and got yourselves roped up.
Houston [26:25 - 26:29]: Well, you're two thirds correct there you are. Two thirds correct there we are.
Gotfree [26:30 - 26:30]: Idiots.
Houston [26:30 - 26:32]: At least two of us are.
Speaker F [26:32 - 26:36]: I'm assuming you're including yourself in that observation.
Houston [26:39 - 26:40]: Rude.
Dallas [26:40 - 26:41]: You said us.
Houston [26:43 - 26:45]: I said two thirds of us.
Dallas [26:46 - 26:47]: Oh.
Alex/Jake [26:47 - 26:48]: How the turntable?
Speaker F [26:50 - 27:09]: Why do we have a smashed up robot? A mouthy gentleman who I think was gagged for his own good. And we have a very crunchy, very crusty ghoul who has got himself shot in the shelter.
Alex/Jake [27:09 - 27:13]: Uh, hi, I'm Jake.
Gotfree [27:13 - 27:14]: Oh, here we go.
Alex/Jake [27:14 - 27:15]: That's Houston.
Speaker F [27:15 - 27:16]: Is he broken?
Alex/Jake [27:16 - 27:25]: The crunchy? Uh, no, no, he's. I think it's called ghoulified. So not broken, just kind of like preserved.
Houston [27:25 - 27:30]: Yeah, basically, I'm just as I'm preserved and grumpy, like my grandfather.
Alex/Jake [27:30 - 27:54]: So there's a. There's a good possibility that you might know some of our friends. So we live down in Dustridge, and those guys over there, part of a bigger group there who came down to Dustridge and tried to eat us, so.
Gotfree [27:55 - 27:57]: Well, them. Not. Not me.
Alex/Jake [27:57 - 28:01]: Well, yeah, not. Not Godfrey. He's not really their cup of tea.
Gotfree [28:01 - 28:06]: Although I didn't want more to point out to them, but they were all very remarkably iron deficient.
Alex/Jake [28:06 - 28:15]: Hmm. How do I tell you this? We actually kind of need to talk, potentially with you.
Speaker F [28:16 - 28:17]: With me?
Alex/Jake [28:17 - 28:19]: Well, maybe.
Speaker F [28:21 - 28:27]: You'Re gonna need to start talking. Just remember, I killed all of those guys and gals.
Alex/Jake [28:27 - 28:28]: Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker F [28:28 - 28:33]: That were holding you. So if you have something to say to me, go ahead and say it.
Dallas [28:33 - 28:38]: And she pulls out a knife and starts kind of just whittling around on.
Alex/Jake [28:38 - 28:53]: A side that's big and pointy. Here's the thing. Are you, by chance, woman wearing a red jacket?
Houston [28:54 - 28:57]: She's obviously wearing it right now.
Speaker F [28:58 - 29:04]: So, did you get hit in the face, too? Like, are your eyes broken?
Gotfree [29:05 - 29:06]: I like her.
Houston [29:06 - 29:11]: He's from the vault. He doesn't know how the world works, and frankly.
Speaker F [29:11 - 29:14]: Oh, we got a vault. Boy, I gotcha.
Houston [29:14 - 29:15]: Yes.
Speaker F [29:15 - 29:17]: Gotcha. That's starting to make.
Houston [29:17 - 29:20]: Yes. In my day, they were called homeschooled.
Dallas [29:20 - 29:21]: Oh.
Houston [29:22 - 29:31]: Look, we've been looking for a lady in particular because we believe she has a fusion core. Do you have one of those at one of those around here?
Speaker F [29:31 - 29:33]: Why would I have a fusion core?
Alex/Jake [29:33 - 29:48]: We we just heard from some big friends of our. Some regular sized friends of ours that you could just help us get a fusion core somehow. Hey, is this where you live full time? Just ask.
Speaker F [29:48 - 29:49]: That's none of your business.
Alex/Jake [29:49 - 29:57]: Okay, fair. Yep, yep. Fair enough. And that is very pointy. And it's pointed at me. I'm gonna sit over here, still very quietly.
Gotfree [29:57 - 30:03]: I do have to ask you more, madam. This place, the condition is impeccable. Is this your doing?
Speaker F [30:03 - 30:05]: That is also none of your business.
Gotfree [30:05 - 30:07]: Well, I'm sorry, I just remind you.
Speaker F [30:07 - 30:07]: Question.
Gotfree [30:07 - 30:08]: I just.
Houston [30:08 - 30:12]: I. Godfrey, quit trying to flirt with every female you listen.
Speaker F [30:12 - 30:21]: So you haven't. You have not. I feel like you guys are hiding something because you have not told me how and why you ended up in a sort situation that you were in.
Gotfree [30:23 - 31:05]: Well, I usually get in trouble whenever I divulge information that I know. And I've been processing the different things that I could tell you at this point. Welcome to rocko processing program. What can we process? God free. Option number one, we turn her into the brotherhood of steel in order to get a fusion call so we can head to new Detroit. Option number two. We murder her. I am rather getting fond of this whole violence thing. Option number three. I confess my love for her, apparently, and we both run off together and have our synthetic babies.
Alex/Jake [31:11 - 31:16]: Godfrey, you've just been, like, beeping and whirring for a second. You good?
Speaker F [31:16 - 31:17]: Yes.
Gotfree [31:17 - 31:18]: Yes, I'm fine.
Speaker F [31:18 - 31:22]: Does he always just lock up like that for five minutes?
Alex/Jake [31:22 - 31:23]: Occasionally.
Houston [31:23 - 31:26]: It's actually the quietest he's been since we've met him.
Alex/Jake [31:26 - 32:49]: Listen, listen, I. I come from a place where honesty was not considered the best policy. In fact, they lied about everything all the time. But I. I'm gonna risk something here. We come from a town that was attacked by those people, so we were sent to try and figure out what's going on with the cannibals. On the way, one of our friends has this protectron that needs a power cell. And in our exploration, we were told that if we found some lady wearing a red duster jacket, that we should go report her whereabouts so that we could get a fusion core for Phyllis the robot. Right? So that's. That's cards on the table here, and I really don't want to die. So as we came up here, we found. I guess they were your footprints. And then because we were fighting those big mongrels, then the cannibals found us. And then because the cannibals were really loud, I guess you found the cannibals, and then you found us, and then we found you, so. And then now we're back to the present. And then I started explaining all the ways that we got to the past, and then the past caught up with the present again, and now we're here in the now. Does that. Does that help?
Speaker F [32:49 - 33:09]: No, not at all. It tells me that you guys make poor decisions. But before I decide if I am going to cut you off loose or cut you up, I need to know who it was that told you about me.
Alex/Jake [33:09 - 33:24]: Oh, well, I don't think I want to do that, but I'm going to roll for persuasion here. I'm rolling a four, and let's see if I can do better than that. Roll a.
Dallas [33:26 - 33:27]: Three.
Alex/Jake [33:27 - 33:27]: Yes.
Dallas [33:27 - 33:39]: We're all really good because you have a charisma. Your Riz is seven, and your speech is five. So, noice. That is, uh, both of those.
Alex/Jake [33:39 - 34:02]: So, listen, lady, I. You know, I. I told you enough that you should trust us, but I don't necessarily feel like telling you everything all at once. So maybe you can tell us about yourself, and then we can see if we can come to some kind of mutual agreement. Does that sound fair?
Speaker F [34:02 - 34:11]: That's fair. Because, I mean, what if this is the last words you ever hear? Does it really matter if I tell you about who I am?
Alex/Jake [34:11 - 34:19]: Well, I mean, maybe we don't do it as our last words ever. I mean, that would be real drastic, wouldn't it, guys? Right.
Speaker F [34:19 - 34:21]: Well, we'll see how this goes.
Alex/Jake [34:21 - 34:22]: Okay. All right.
Speaker F [34:23 - 34:30]: I am from out east, and based on some of the things that you have told me, I think you know a little bit about who I am.
Alex/Jake [34:30 - 34:32]: Maybe. Maybe not.
Speaker F [34:32 - 34:59]: Maybe I grew up, or what I thought was growing up in Boston and lived a fantastic and great life. And then I find out that none of those memories are real, that I was made by a group called the institute and wanted out. So I left, and knowing that they were gonna follow me, I decided to head this direction by myself.
Alex/Jake [34:59 - 35:05]: Wait, you mean to tell me that you can't trust any of your life memories either?
Speaker F [35:05 - 35:07]: No, but that's only a sync thing.
Alex/Jake [35:07 - 35:09]: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
Dallas [35:11 - 35:17]: So, she kind of side eyes you, assuming that you have some sort of severe brain injury at this point, keep.
Gotfree [35:17 - 35:20]: It in your pants. Swing.
Speaker F [35:20 - 35:26]: So I decided to leave because the world was burning down in Boston.
Alex/Jake [35:26 - 35:30]: Same, same. I get it. Totally. Yeah. That's so cool.
Speaker F [35:31 - 36:02]: So I headed this direction, and that is when I also found out that there are lots of people that are looking for me and other synths. But luckily, I am still intact and can pass most of the time for a human. So I bartered, stole and lied my way out this direction. And while I was wandering through the woods, I started fighting a yowgawise.
Dallas [36:02 - 36:03]: Is that how you say it?
Alex/Jake [36:03 - 36:06]: Yeah, the big. The big bear things. Yeah, those are cool.
Speaker F [36:07 - 36:22]: I fought one of those and got him up here and decided that I just gonna call this home. That's all you get to know at this point. And now I need something from you.
Alex/Jake [36:23 - 36:24]: Me?
Speaker F [36:24 - 36:25]: From all of you.
Alex/Jake [36:26 - 36:26]: Oh.
Speaker F [36:27 - 36:30]: To ensure that I can let you guys leave here alive.
Alex/Jake [36:31 - 36:32]: Oh.
Speaker F [36:33 - 36:46]: I'm going to need to know why you were looking for me. And I need the truth. And as a synth, I can tell better than most whether or not you're lying.
Gotfree [36:48 - 36:56]: It is a neat skill to have, sensing the spikes and adrenaline in those around you. You can tell when they're trying to.
Alex/Jake [36:56 - 36:58]: I get it, guys. I get it. I get it.
Gotfree [36:58 - 38:09]: Well, as I am steel and circuits, our mission was altruistic. We are attempting to help a fellow synthetic individual by the name of Phyllis be able to power up in order to accompany Karl to safety away from this roving band of cannibals. Fusion calls are indeed hard to come by, and a lead was presented to us where if we provided information, we could be presented with a fusion call. However, I like you. And apparently that's a thing that I do recently, is liking people. I don't know how to quite process this, but that's for another time. Is there a way that we could provide viable information to our patrons that could also ensure your safety and could ensure that we acquire the fusion core?
Alex/Jake [38:10 - 38:21]: Can I also get your forwarding address? Because, I mean, maybe we could become pen pals. Never mind. Yeah, we can talk about that later. What Godfrey said.
Houston [38:22 - 38:23]: These two are children.
Speaker F [38:25 - 38:33]: I don't think you can read or write me. And at this point, I'm not sure. I think you think you can smell colors at this point.
Gotfree [38:33 - 38:35]: I like her.
Alex/Jake [38:35 - 38:35]: Me?
Speaker F [38:36 - 38:37]: You, mister robot?
Alex/Jake [38:37 - 38:40]: No. She was making fun of you, Godfrey. Haha.
Speaker F [38:40 - 38:44]: I need to know who your patron is.
Alex/Jake [38:45 - 38:47]: Um, I don't. I don't.
Gotfree [38:47 - 38:47]: We.
Alex/Jake [38:47 - 38:49]: Can we tell her? Guys? I don't think we can.
Gotfree [38:49 - 38:53]: Oh, I'm perfectly capable of telling her. It was the brotherhood of steel.
Alex/Jake [38:53 - 38:55]: Shut up, Duffrey. They don't like you.
Speaker F [38:55 - 38:57]: You're gonna sell me out to the brotherhood.
Dallas [38:57 - 38:59]: Brotherhood of the brotherhood.
Speaker F [39:00 - 39:01]: The brotherhood of steel.
Gotfree [39:01 - 39:27]: I will be perfectly honest with you, madam. That was our intention initially, yes. However, perhaps we can come up with an alternative where you live out your days and peace. I don't know. Maybe we provide some sort of diversion or distraction. Maybe you can lay a false trail that would prove beneficial. They didn't say we had to provide you to her. We just had to provide information.
Alex/Jake [39:27 - 39:27]: Yeah.
Houston [39:27 - 39:30]: Yeah, that is a surprisingly good offer.
Speaker F [39:30 - 39:32]: So why don't you just not tell them?
Gotfree [39:32 - 39:45]: Well, we have. We have to. We have to provide something. We need a fusion core for Phyllis. The knobbles are closing in around Krazy Karl as we speak, so we have a proverbial ticking clock.
Speaker F [39:45 - 39:49]: Is this Carl Person and Phyllis your friends?
Gotfree [39:49 - 39:54]: Yes. Yes, yes. Carl was a beloved member of our.
Alex/Jake [39:54 - 40:05]: Community, and he got us all the bootleg hooch like he made stuff in his bathtub. You're gonna love it when you come visit me and my parents. Well, my parents are dead, but that's a whole different story.
Houston [40:06 - 40:08]: Yeah, tune in next time.
Alex/Jake [40:09 - 40:16]: You can meet mayor Evelyn. She would really like you. Mayor Evelyn, anyways. Yeah, we like Carl.
Speaker F [40:16 - 40:24]: You like Carl, and you wanted to save your friend. Why didn't you? Where is the rest of your town? Why are they not helping?
Gotfree [40:24 - 40:40]: They have all headed to new Detroit. And because Phyllis was unable to be powered up or I'll stayed behind, his devotion to that robot is something that I can only hope to find eventually.
Speaker F [40:43 - 41:05]: So you came all the way up here to find me to help save your friend. Cannibals, right? Instead of going to new Detroit, which is what sane people in robots would have done, but instead you went into cannibal, rad infested woods to save your friend.
Alex/Jake [41:05 - 41:10]: I think you're completely understanding. Yeah. Is there. Was there a question in that?
Dallas [41:10 - 41:26]: So she puts her knife away, stands up, dusts her pants off, and she goes around the side of the building, and you guys are left to your own devices. You don't know where she went? She kind of ducked into the darkness.
Gotfree [41:27 - 41:37]: I still have a hard time reading human expressions and emotions. Is she upset? Is she perplexed? Is she compelled?
Alex/Jake [41:37 - 41:41]: I don't know, but I think it's cool that she can't trust her background.
Gotfree [41:42 - 41:47]: That's the one point of commonality that you two have. That's incredibly sad.
Alex/Jake [41:48 - 41:52]: You know what? When you put it that way, kind of. Yeah, kinda. Yeah, it is.
Gotfree [41:53 - 41:59]: Anyways, Houston, you've been around longer than any of us. What. What are our odds here?
Houston [41:59 - 42:12]: You know, one of the worst literary tropes of all time, ever since I read Lord of the flies in high school, was this concept called deus. Deus ex machina, God of the machine, Deuce.
Dallas [42:13 - 42:15]: Two of them. Deus and I'm an english teacher.
Houston [42:18 - 42:36]: Deus ex machina, God of the machine, where a plot point comes out of the middle of nowhere. In here, we have a machine who comes out of the middle of nowhere. This is like my own personal hell, being with you guys in a plot point that comes out of the middle of nowhere.
Dallas [42:37 - 42:48]: Listen, I'm right here. Look, lord of the flies was pre 1900. Sixty's. It is a reference that I could make sure this is.
Houston [42:48 - 42:51]: Yeah, with the big old deuce machismo.
Alex/Jake [42:55 - 42:58]: What's a deuce machismo? And why is she so pretty?
Houston [42:59 - 43:03]: Give it up, okay? You don't have a chance with her.
Alex/Jake [43:03 - 43:06]: Okay, but, like, maybe.
Gotfree [43:06 - 43:13]: Is she. Is she coming back? Did she leave? Was she so disgusted with the situation that she's literally walking away?
Dallas [43:13 - 43:39]: Godfrey turns to look in the direction that she left in with his new, new to him eye. And you guys are now seeing it for the first time. And it is an old camera that has been attached to the end of his eye stalk with computer components to actually integrate it into his circuitry. So it is just a very old vintage camera.
Alex/Jake [43:39 - 43:40]: That's a good look for you, buddy.
Gotfree [43:40 - 43:49]: You really cannot beat vintage glass. The grain that you get, it's so thick.
Alex/Jake [43:49 - 43:50]: Knock it off.
Gotfree [43:50 - 43:51]: Such a sort.
Houston [43:51 - 43:54]: Hey, leave him be. He's having a Kodak moment.
Gotfree [43:55 - 44:10]: Allow me to roll for perception. Shall I go for it? Nine? We'll try it again just to see. Oh, no. Let's go with the perception and survival. That's nine. Nine, right.
Alex/Jake [44:11 - 44:12]: Yes.
Gotfree [44:12 - 44:13]: Okay. All right.
Dallas [44:13 - 44:52]: So as you peer into the darkness in which she slinked, slumped Louie flanked off into. She slank. Slunk. What I was hoping for, she slips back around the corner, and it looks like she was talking to someone. As she comes back around, and she is not holding the knife anymore. She comes and she sits in the one chair that is around the fire pits and tells you, I have been.
Speaker F [44:52 - 45:08]: Thinking it over, and I think I have a solution to your fusion corp problem. But I will only tell you about it, and I will only do this if you swear you will not go back to the brotherhood and tell them about me.
Alex/Jake [45:08 - 45:09]: I swear.
Speaker F [45:09 - 45:10]: All of you?
Gotfree [45:10 - 45:11]: Yes, of course.
Speaker F [45:11 - 45:13]: We're all on board. Or you all die. I don't care either way.
Houston [45:13 - 45:15]: Oh, sure, why not?
Alex/Jake [45:15 - 45:29]: Oh, well, I mean, that made it even easier. Yeah, I swear. Super swear. Like, sometimes I even say crap. Um, and then fiddlesticks. I'm really good at swearing. They taught us a lot of the swears in, uh, in the vaults.
Gotfree [45:29 - 45:32]: Fuddy. Dud. Okey dokey.
Alex/Jake [45:32 - 45:35]: Did you make that intentionally?
Dallas [45:36 - 45:56]: So she rolls her eyes, uh, and her hand goes to her knife handle. As you continue to curse ball boy style in her general direction. Without even seeing what happens, the knife flings out of her hands and buries into the log.
Alex/Jake [45:57 - 45:59]: Okay, I don't think so.
Gotfree [45:59 - 46:00]: Impressed?
Alex/Jake [46:00 - 46:02]: I think I'm aroused.
Gotfree [46:02 - 46:03]: Madam, your dexterity.
Houston [46:03 - 46:07]: I think if we're gonna survive this mess, we need to keep her around.
Gotfree [46:07 - 46:14]: Tell me, would you like a new last name? Straggler? It's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
Dallas [46:17 - 46:22]: I like that you've adopted that as you're all collective last names.
Alex/Jake [46:22 - 46:25]: Jake Straggler, Houston Straggler, and gut free straggler.
Dallas [46:25 - 46:27]: And called me straggler.
Speaker F [46:29 - 46:33]: Are you done playing around, and are you ready to hear how this is gonna go?
Alex/Jake [46:34 - 46:34]: Game master?
Dallas [46:35 - 46:35]: Yes.
Alex/Jake [46:35 - 46:46]: Could I use my gaslighter perk here? Which is, per combat encounter, I can convince one person, my level or below, to join our cause.
Dallas [46:46 - 46:48]: She's way above you in level.
Alex/Jake [46:49 - 46:50]: Oh, dang it.
Dallas [46:51 - 46:56]: You're level two. Not a lot of things are on your level.
Alex/Jake [46:56 - 47:12]: She's a ten, is what she is. It got a little weird there for a minute where I was like, all right, I am Jake, and I'm flirting with the synth, but then it's actually just Alex, and I'm flirting with Dallas, and I don't like it. I don't like it.
Dallas [47:12 - 47:17]: I'll allow it. Do I need to switch back to the voice? Will that make it better?
Alex/Jake [47:18 - 47:25]: Okay. No. All right. Okay. What are the conditions? Like join or die?
Houston [47:25 - 47:25]: Or is it just.
Speaker F [47:25 - 47:28]: Oh, yeah. That's the choice. Is the choice.
Alex/Jake [47:30 - 47:31]: Yeah. We're in.
Speaker F [47:31 - 47:40]: If you're in, you're in. And I need to know I can trust you three. Fact that you guys risked your lives, and it doesn't seem like you're very good at the whole hero bin.
Alex/Jake [47:40 - 47:41]: Absolutely not.
Speaker F [47:41 - 47:47]: For your friend. Just for your friend, who is serving you no benefit whatsoever. Really touched me.
Dallas [47:47 - 47:52]: She turns around and kind of moves her hand. A signal.
Alex/Jake [47:52 - 47:55]: I think she's gonna give us a new friendship handshake.
Gotfree [47:55 - 47:58]: This is gonna be exciting. Shut up.
Dallas [47:58 - 48:13]: Behind seven trees. It looks like seven trees move silently slip out from behind seven trees are seven super mutants that almost materialize in front of you.
Houston [48:13 - 48:15]: What are those?
Gotfree [48:15 - 48:18]: I was going to ask you the same question, mister Winger.
Dallas [48:18 - 48:32]: And lumber into the light. And lumber is appropriate because they are all wearing lumberjack type outfits. Each and every one. That is where we're going to end this.
Alex/Jake [48:32 - 48:33]: Whoa.
Gotfree [48:33 - 48:39]: What? We're going to end it on a paper towel. Ann, what's going on here?
Dallas [48:40 - 48:55]: And they're all eating hungry man meals also. So we have won over the sympathies of the synth, and she has summoned her lumberjack boy band of super mutants.
Alex/Jake [48:57 - 50:06]: When we started up this episode, I thought, hmm, I'm about to be, you know, lunch meat for a bunch of cannibals. And now I'm leaving this episode thinking I'm about to be lunch meat for a bunch of super mutants. So it feels like out of the frying pan into the fire. And what better way for our stragglers to end our adventure this week? Well, if you've enjoyed what you've heard here tonight, please drop us a follow. Give us a rating on your podcast listening device of choice. And if you like what you hear and want to hear more of what we're up to, check out the rest of our sibling shows. We've got a doctor and lawyer walk into a bar. That's our pop culture chat show. And we also have hotter plus, which is breaking down wizarding world and the upcoming HBO show. So if you like what you've heard here, check us out at Bigredbutton show. Or you can check out our entire network@thegrapefruitnetwork.com. So with that, I have been Jake Winger, and I'm starting to doubt all the training that I got in the vault.
Houston [50:06 - 50:12]: You should. Should. Because I'm Houston, and that's the only thing you actually know here.
Gotfree [50:13 - 50:20]: And I'm Godfrey. And based on this encounter, I'm going to practice my life skills.
Houston [50:23 - 50:25]: The horniest robot in the tri state area.
Dallas [50:27 - 50:44]: And the object of all of your affections. I am the overseer and all of the ladies you love. So with that later Tuesday.