S1E8 | Heigh Ho It's Off To 57 We Go

I'll take "Podcasts I'm Amazed are still being produced" for $500, Alex! Welcome back to the Big Red Button, the best Fallout podcast you've never heard of!

Get ready for another thrilling adventure in our latest episode! This week, our quirky band of Stragglers find themselves in a tangled web of quests, super mutants, and mysterious figures.

Chapter Timestamps:
(00:05:09) - Attempt to contact Tony Hawk for the podcast
(00:10:00) - Tense negotiation with super mutants
(00:14:24) - Planning with super mutants for finding a fusion core
(00:25:03) - Tragic backstory of the super mutants' overseer
(00:26:29) - Emotional bonding and planning the next steps
(00:28:04) - Strategic planning and use of luck points in decision-making
(00:30:41) - Delegation of tasks among super mutants for protecting Carl
(00:32:03) - Finalizing the plan with super mutants and setting off
(00:34:46) - Lady Grey's confrontation and acceptance of the plan
(00:38:25) - Splitting of the group and setting off on separate paths

Episode Highlights:
- A Mysterious Quest: Our hosts, Alex, Cody, Dallas, and William, along with their alter egos, dive deep into a quest that leads them to a mysterious woman in a red coat. What secrets does she hold? And how will this encounter change their journey?
- Super Mutants and Sacrifices: Encounter the gentle giants of the wasteland, the super mutants, who prove to be more than just formidable figures. Discover their touching backstory and their connection to the enigmatic Lady Grey.
- Strategic Decisions: Listen as our team strategizes to protect their friend Carl from looming threats, employing the help of their new super mutant friends in a plan filled with risks and uncertainties.

Transcript

Super Dwarf [0:15 - 0:28]: In the case of nuclear or radiological fallout, people living around potential targets, you shouldn't leave your shelter until officials say so. 

Alex/Jake [0:32 - 0:45]: This is the emergency broadcast system. This is not a test. Repeat, this is not a test. Citizens are advised to take the following steps. Stay alert to news media events or local emergency alert notifications. 

Houston [1:01 - 1:10]: Kids today with their tactics and their podcasts and whosy whatsits. They should be reading books like I did. Previously on the Big Red button. 

Gotfree [1:10 - 1:13]: So you mean previously on the podcast that you're currently on? 

Houston [1:13 - 1:14]: Yeah, I'm under contract. 

Alex/Jake [1:16 - 1:21]: Excuse me. I overheard 3 seconds silence. 

Super Dwarf [1:21 - 1:24]: Okay, no talking from the sacrifices. 

Gotfree [1:25 - 1:27]: Good luck finding my speaker grill. 

Dallas [1:27 - 1:40]: You hear some confusion and you hear a rut, and then silence. You can't see what's going on, but you are lifted up very easily. 

Gotfree [1:40 - 1:45]: Never mind. I shall just go complacent and stop talking and accept my fate. 

Dallas [1:45 - 2:10]: So you guys are carried for a few hours and are set gently down onto the ground. Lots of movements, and there's a lot of clanking going on. It sounds like somebody's working on. And they work in complete silence. You start seeing static out of that eye stalk as a not very clear picture comes into view of a woman walking away. 

Gotfree [2:10 - 2:14]: We've been sent on a quest to find a female figure, and one of them is here. 

Dallas [2:14 - 2:21]: But as you're looking around, the door opens and out steps a woman with dark hair and a red coat. 

Alex/Jake [2:22 - 2:26]: Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that there's something found? 

Super Dwarf [2:26 - 2:26]: I. 

Lady Grey [2:27 - 2:32]: Do you boys generally make a habit of getting in trouble and getting captured by a bunch of crazy raiders? 

Alex/Jake [2:32 - 2:33]: Not normally. 

Lady Grey [2:33 - 2:35]: If you have something to say to me, go ahead and say we've been. 

Houston [2:35 - 2:40]: Looking for a lady in particular. Cause we believe she has a fusion cord. 

Lady Grey [2:40 - 2:44]: I need to know who it was that you told about me. 

Gotfree [2:45 - 2:46]: It was the brotherhood of steel. 

Lady Grey [2:47 - 2:49]: You're gonna sell me out to the brotherhood of steel? 

Gotfree [2:49 - 3:00]: We have to provide something. We need a fusion core for Phyllis. The cannonballs are closing in around crazy Carl and Phyllis as we speak. So we have a proverbial ticking clock. 

Dallas [3:00 - 3:01]: She puts her knife away. 

Lady Grey [3:01 - 3:12]: I think I have a solution for your fusion core problem. If you're in, you're in. All of you. Or you can all die. I don't care either way. The fact that you guys risked your lives for your friend, it really touched me. 

Dallas [3:12 - 3:15]: Behind seven trees. It looks like seven trees. 

Alex/Jake [3:15 - 3:18]: Moon, what are those? 

Houston [3:18 - 3:19]: I was going to ask you the. 

Gotfree [3:19 - 3:21]: Same question, mister Winger. 

Dallas [3:21 - 3:34]: And lumber into the light. Welcome back to the wasteland where it is falling out and it is hopefully coming back together. 

Alex/Jake [3:34 - 3:35]: Look at you. 

Gotfree [3:35 - 3:36]: I see what you did there. 

Alex/Jake [3:36 - 3:48]: All the SEO buzzword soup right there. To the Fallout podcast, HBO Max, Amazon prime, the last of us, part two. 

Houston [3:48 - 3:49]: Amazon. 

Alex/Jake [3:49 - 3:50]: God, Howard. 

Dallas [3:50 - 3:53]: Tony Hawk, is he still relevant? No. 

Gotfree [3:53 - 3:53]: Okay, yeah. 

Alex/Jake [3:53 - 3:54]: Space jam. 

Dallas [3:54 - 3:54]: Yeah. 

Alex/Jake [3:54 - 3:57]: Do you guys know that they were going to do a space jam with Tony Hawk, by the way? 

Super Dwarf [3:57 - 3:58]: What? 

Alex/Jake [3:58 - 4:01]: Yeah, that's a. You know what? We'll talk about that on a doctor and a lawyer. 

Dallas [4:01 - 4:03]: I'm gonna put that in as something that's gonna come up. 

Alex/Jake [4:04 - 4:06]: We made a man named Tony, last name Hawk. 

Dallas [4:07 - 4:12]: He actually was fused to a hawk and escaped. 

Alex/Jake [4:12 - 4:14]: Sounds like a Rick and morty experiment over there. 

Dallas [4:15 - 4:23]: He looks the same. He's a ghoul, but he still just looks exactly the same. He's like, I'm Tony Hawk. Don't you know who I am? And they're like, I don't. Are you still around? 

Gotfree [4:23 - 4:30]: I don't know if he's a really, like, good and healthy looking ghoul or if you were just really insensitive to Tony Hawking. 

Dallas [4:30 - 4:34]: Aging gracefully, like Dallas, people still will meet him and they're like, you know what? 

Alex/Jake [4:34 - 4:37]: We should just call up Tony Hawk and see if he'll get on the show. 

Dallas [4:37 - 4:43]: Like, he'll show. Like, people will be. He'll be like, I'm Tony Hawk. And they're like, no, you're not. And he's like, yes, I am. 

Alex/Jake [4:43 - 4:45]: Hold on, I'm pulling up Twitter. 

Dallas [4:45 - 4:49]: He is cursed with living forever and he still is just doing that all the time. 

Alex/Jake [4:49 - 4:51]: All right, I'm pulling up Twitter right now. 

Dallas [4:51 - 4:53]: Are you asking Tony Hawk if he'll come and hang out with us? 

Alex/Jake [4:53 - 5:09]: Hey, Ant. Tony Hawk, do. Tony, do you want to come on our podcast and play a zombified version of yourself a la bill Murray in zombieland? 

Houston [5:09 - 5:12]: Considering my athletic prowess, I have no. 

Dallas [5:12 - 5:18]: Points of connection with Tony Hawk. I've played all of his games a lot, and I had a skateboard. 

Gotfree [5:18 - 5:20]: I was gonna say, surely you know who he is. 

Dallas [5:20 - 5:21]: I skateboarded back in the day. 

Alex/Jake [5:21 - 5:26]: If he replies in the next couple minutes, I will send him the link right now. Kid you not. 

Dallas [5:26 - 5:31]: I'm sure he's city ground. He's like, I am so bored on a Friday night. I have nothing to do. 

Alex/Jake [5:31 - 5:48]: I'm. I believe he lives out west. I think he's out in San Diego. So, I mean, it's 3 hours. It's only 08:00 right now. He's probably chilling at home, doing a couple of kickflips in his garage. That's actually, you know, a giant warehouse of just skateboarding. 

Gotfree [5:48 - 5:50]: He's already taken his metamucil. He's good. 

Dallas [5:50 - 5:51]: Yeah. 

Alex/Jake [5:52 - 6:00]: Can you imagine if Tony Hawk actually came on the show to play himself as Tony Hawk? That'd be incredible. You know what? We'll see. 

Super Dwarf [6:00 - 6:00]: All right. 

Dallas [6:00 - 6:02]: You know, we'll see what happens. 

Alex/Jake [6:02 - 6:03]: Yeah, yeah, we'll just keep the. 

Dallas [6:03 - 6:04]: All right. 

Alex/Jake [6:04 - 6:09]: Keep the. Keep the lines open. We'll have our people call your people, tweeted Jonathan Nolan. 

Dallas [6:09 - 6:20]: Let's see what happens. Speaking of very famous individuals, we have Houston, our famous writer, played by our even more famous war criminal, Cody. 

Alex/Jake [6:20 - 6:26]: Oh, that explains where all my alien blackberries went. Stole them. 

Houston [6:26 - 6:43]: Look, I have no points of reference to this Tony Hawk. You know, what does he even do, all these people with sports. Back in my day, me and rad. Brad. Me and Brad Bradbury, Ray Bradbury. We got in. We got into some trouble. We got into some trouble back in the day. 

Alex/Jake [6:44 - 6:44]: Wait, really? 

Houston [6:44 - 6:51]: Frankly, you know, I was tired of these kids and their sports and the rollerblade and the basketball, and they should. 

Gotfree [6:51 - 6:57]: Be reading, wow, Master McKinney, you sure took a tour of the United States with that accent. 

Dallas [6:57 - 7:06]: Ooeeee. I like that. He did get very 1950s there as well, when he's talking. 

Alex/Jake [7:08 - 7:17]: Those scallywags, those beatniks down at the soda jerk station. 

Dallas [7:18 - 7:28]: Speaking of jerks, we have Jake Winger, played by our very well played Alex. 

Houston [7:28 - 7:30]: Well played game master. Well played. 

Alex/Jake [7:30 - 7:33]: See, I don't even know if I trust that or not, because, like, wait. 

Gotfree [7:33 - 7:42]: Before you go on, master winger, take the stem pack and screw the syringe off the top of it and just apply it topically to that burn. 

Houston [7:42 - 7:45]: And I know a thing or two about burn. That was a good one. 

Alex/Jake [7:45 - 7:54]: I remember the days when I could just go home to the vault, and even though the lights were a little dimmer than usual, they told me they were still bright. 

Houston [7:54 - 7:56]: The lights were. Damn. All right. 

Alex/Jake [7:59 - 8:01]: Why is it. Why are we ganging up on Jake? 

Gotfree [8:04 - 8:07]: I wish you had some paper to write that one down. 

Alex/Jake [8:07 - 8:08]: Jake doesn't deserve this. 

Gotfree [8:09 - 8:13]: It's a good thing my memory's impeccable. Eh, don't be worried. 

Alex/Jake [8:13 - 8:29]: Jake is a bit abused. Guys. Probably not as bad as, you know, on top of the surface, but, you know, down in the vault, it was bad. In between my third cup of coffee and my fourth cup of coffee, they told me I was only on my second. Okay, you guys better lighten up. 

Dallas [8:29 - 8:34]: We also have Gothbree, our trusty robot. 

Gotfree [8:35 - 8:38]: Played by present and or accounted for. 

Dallas [8:38 - 8:47]: Sir, played by our very own William, who also believes that birds are also robots, just like Godfrey. 

Alex/Jake [8:47 - 8:48]: Birds aren't real. 

Dallas [8:48 - 8:48]: Say hi. 

Gotfree [8:48 - 9:00]: I thought you were gonna say who is also a neurotic british robot who is socially inept with interactions with other people. 

Dallas [9:01 - 9:31]: Right, so we left off last time, you guys getting saved from getting your bacon cooked or your circuit scrambled by some cannibals, and you were saved by none other than the red coated gray lady, who I understood that reference moved you guys through the woods to her little cabin. And as she revealed to you who. 

Alex/Jake [9:31 - 9:38]: She was, she almost killed me with her dazzlingly good looks and her very compelling backstory that resonated me very deeply. 

Dallas [9:38 - 9:40]: And a knife she almost kills. 

Alex/Jake [9:40 - 9:42]: And the knife, it was very long and pointy. 

Dallas [9:42 - 9:55]: It was. And as she cunningly convinced you to not turn her into the brotherhood of steel, we left off with some super mutants slipping out of the woods. 

Gotfree [9:55 - 10:00]: Game master. There was no cunning involved in that. She wielded a large knife, and we. 

Dallas [10:00 - 10:50]: Conceded she wielded that knife cunningly. Probably. If you say probably at the end of anything, you can say whatever you want. And that is where we are currently. You are tied up, all of you. Middle of this clearing, surrounded now. So you guys are surrounded by seven super mutants. They all step out, and they are huge, huge super mutants who are green and are wearing plaid shirts, blue jeans, and they sheepishly step out, kind of kneading their hands together as they materialize in front of you. What do you have to say for yourselves, gentlemen? 

Alex/Jake [10:50 - 10:56]: I go to super duper Mart all the time. I don't think they sell sizes of plaid shirts that big. 

Houston [10:56 - 10:58]: It was the Kmart blue light special. 

Gotfree [10:59 - 11:07]: Cognitive dissonance of that massive figure being sheepish. My processes haven't quite caught up with yet. 

Alex/Jake [11:07 - 11:25]: Okay, I'm gonna try to communicate with them. I would like to want to roll for charisma and speech. So I have a seven in charisma and five in speech. I want to just kind of, like, make sure everybody's happy. Okay. 

Dallas [11:25 - 11:26]: Okay. 

Alex/Jake [11:26 - 11:42]: I rolled a seven. Already a winner. Let's see if I can get a one. See if I can get a one. Some excitement. Oh, I'm pretty sure you did 20, but, uh. But. But I also. 

Dallas [11:42 - 11:43]: Go ahead. What do you have to say? 

Alex/Jake [11:43 - 11:47]: I have a smooth talker perk, which allows me to reroll. 

Dallas [11:47 - 11:48]: All right, go ahead. 

Alex/Jake [11:51 - 11:52]: A 17. 

Dallas [11:52 - 11:53]: Oh, I was really hoping for a. 

Alex/Jake [11:53 - 12:16]: 20 again, so I. Hello, my big green friends, and I look over at the girl in red, and I'm like this cell man does it kind of thing, you know? Hello, my big friends. I am Jake, and this is got free. 

Gotfree [12:17 - 12:22]: And I retract all three eyestalks and all three arms in vicarious embarrassment. 

Alex/Jake [12:22 - 12:33]: And we're not dinner. We are her friend. Me friend. 

Houston [12:33 - 12:35]: If he gets eaten, I'm gonna laugh. 

Alex/Jake [12:35 - 12:40]: I just stand there with two thumbs up real slow, like they all kind. 

Dallas [12:40 - 12:49]: Of look at each other, and then they look at lady in the red coat, kind of confused as to what's. 

Gotfree [12:49 - 12:53]: Going on, same as most sane human would be. 

Dallas [12:53 - 13:22]: And one of them steps forward. The only thing that can. You can even use to identify the difference in all of these is each one is wearing different colored suspenders. That is the only thing that helps you differentiate one from the other. So the one wearing blue suspenders steps forward, still looking very confused as to what Jake is doing and gesticulating the way he is. 

Super Dwarf [13:22 - 13:29]: Lady in gray. Why he talk weird? Why he move hands like that? Is man dumb? 

Houston [13:29 - 13:34]: He was homeschooled. Aye, aye, aye, captain friend. 

Super Dwarf [13:35 - 13:39]: Me friend. Me talk slow for you. 

Dallas [13:39 - 13:40]: Oh. 

Super Dwarf [13:40 - 13:42]: Me name Honkin. Honkin. 

Alex/Jake [13:43 - 13:50]: Hi, honkin. I didn't know you talked slow for me to talk slow. Maybe I am dumb. 

Super Dwarf [13:50 - 13:54]: Um, you seem maybe head injury. 

Alex/Jake [13:54 - 13:58]: Actually, yeah, I did get thrown around back there by the river. Um. Hi. Honk. 

Super Dwarf [13:58 - 14:02]: Yes. Me pick up. Me carry you. Me bring you hope. 

Alex/Jake [14:02 - 14:03]: That was you. 

Super Dwarf [14:03 - 14:03]: Yes. 

Alex/Jake [14:03 - 14:06]: Oh, thank you. That was really nice. 

Super Dwarf [14:06 - 14:06]: You're welcome. 

Alex/Jake [14:07 - 14:08]: You're a gentle hand. 

Gotfree [14:08 - 14:09]: It was so delicate. 

Super Dwarf [14:10 - 14:15]: I used a lot of bare fat. A lot of yogwai fat makes skin. 

Gotfree [14:15 - 14:24]: Supple, smooth, un voluptuous. I love the vernacular that's being thrown around this evening. Yes. Continue, please. 

Alex/Jake [14:24 - 14:38]: We're friends now with the lady in Lorette over here, and she said that you're gonna. You're all gonna help us find a fusion core. Can you. Can you help us find a fusion core? 

Super Dwarf [14:38 - 14:45]: Maybe. Maybe help. Okay, ladies say help. We help. We help you. 

Gotfree [14:45 - 14:46]: Very loyal. 

Super Dwarf [14:46 - 14:54]: Yes. She save us. She take care of us. She is like. She is like snow to us. 

Alex/Jake [14:54 - 14:56]: Like. Like snow. 

Super Dwarf [14:56 - 14:56]: Yes. 

Alex/Jake [14:56 - 14:57]: What do you mean? 

Gotfree [14:57 - 14:59]: Please elaborate on this metaphor. 

Super Dwarf [14:59 - 15:02]: She's. She nice. She take care of us. 

Gotfree [15:02 - 15:04]: And a little cold. 

Houston [15:04 - 15:06]: Did no one read Snow White? 

Super Dwarf [15:07 - 15:10]: Her skin smooth and look nice. 

Alex/Jake [15:10 - 15:15]: I thought you were just saying you don't eat her if you pee on her first. But that makes more sense. 

Dallas [15:20 - 15:26]: I can't laugh regularly whenever I have my voice changed because it sounds like a crazy person. 

Houston [15:28 - 15:29]: I love it. 

Alex/Jake [15:29 - 15:30]: Keep it going. 

Gotfree [15:32 - 15:34]: Wait, is this a comment on her temperature? 

Houston [15:34 - 15:36]: It's a literary reference. 

Super Dwarf [15:36 - 15:47]: She also very cold. She not human, but she take care of us. She take us in. She take care of all seven. Like family. 

Alex/Jake [15:47 - 15:54]: Oh, my God. I just put together two and two. She likes. No, there's seriously seven. 

Super Dwarf [15:54 - 15:56]: Seven, you guys. 

Houston [15:56 - 16:01]: You idiots. Just now figuring that you just got that it's a literary reference. 

Super Dwarf [16:01 - 16:16]: Me introduce. Me introduce brothers. Me, honking, grumbly, munchy, snorty. Jeremy, sloppy. 

Alex/Jake [16:18 - 16:19]: Stop. 

Dallas [16:29 - 16:30]: My favorite is Jeremy. 

Gotfree [16:38 - 16:46]: Oh, please, Master McKinley, don't draw attention to Jeremy. He has a lisp and he's sensitive about it. Okay. 

Houston [16:50 - 16:54]: I think I knew Jeremy's ex girlfriend. She's a little nutty. 

Alex/Jake [16:56 - 17:22]: I'm so sorry. Well, I'm really bad with names, so I'll do my best. If I mess them up, please forgive me. I'm not trying. All right, so we got rumbly, yes. Bumbly, no. Oh, crap. I'm gonna stop. Stompy, stompy. Sorry. Uh, is that one Jeremy, or is that one Jeremy? And I point it one with that one. 

Super Dwarf [17:22 - 17:23]: No, neither. 

Alex/Jake [17:23 - 17:25]: Not with red. No, with yellow. 

Super Dwarf [17:25 - 17:26]: No. 

Dallas [17:26 - 17:26]: Purple. 

Houston [17:26 - 17:27]: Purple. 

Alex/Jake [17:27 - 17:29]: Purple's Jeremy. I'm so sorry. 

Houston [17:29 - 17:34]: Purple's Jeremy and Mister Weiner, you're dopey and suit. 

Alex/Jake [17:34 - 17:39]: Okay, I'll keep practicing. I'll practice, I promise. 

Super Dwarf [17:39 - 17:41]: Okay. You all look the same to us. 

Gotfree [17:42 - 17:43]: I'm sorry, what? 

Super Dwarf [17:43 - 17:46]: Except you, robot man. 

Gotfree [17:46 - 17:47]: Thank you. 

Super Dwarf [17:47 - 17:49]: In man. You different. It. 

Alex/Jake [17:49 - 17:56]: Okay, well, thank you. You. We same. Same, but different. Same. Same, but different. 

Super Dwarf [17:57 - 17:58]: Is he okay? 

Gotfree [17:58 - 17:58]: No. 

Super Dwarf [17:59 - 18:01]: MC's dumber than the rest. 

Alex/Jake [18:02 - 18:04]: Please tell me you all have seen the. The dictator. 

Super Dwarf [18:04 - 18:05]: Did. 

Alex/Jake [18:05 - 18:08]: Did any of you know that reference? Okay, never mind. 

Dallas [18:08 - 18:17]: So they all. All of the super mutants come out very slowly, very shyly, and sit around the fire. 

Alex/Jake [18:17 - 18:19]: Which one's shyly? 

Dallas [18:20 - 18:22]: Shyly is not in this episode. 

Houston [18:23 - 18:23]: Shut it, dopey. 

Dallas [18:23 - 18:33]: They all sit down in the park benches that, for them, look like normal chairs and sit around the fire. 

Gotfree [18:33 - 18:36]: Oh, it all makes sense now. 

Dallas [18:36 - 18:44]: As they sit around the fire, the lady in red, Lady Grey, she speaks up. 

Lady Grey [18:44 - 18:59]: Listen here. This is the plan. I will cut you loose. But as you can see, I have seven super mutants here who will hunt you down and kill you if you try to tell somebody where I am. Especially if you try to tell the brotherhood of steel. 

Alex/Jake [18:59 - 19:00]: Got it? Yeah. 

Lady Grey [19:00 - 19:16]: And even if you did, even if, let's say somehow you told somebody that I was out here, who's really gonna believe you if you say that you found a synth and seven super mutants in a cabin in the woods? Go ahead, try. I'd like to see it. 

Alex/Jake [19:16 - 19:26]: I mean, I don't think I. I don't think I would believe that either. Are we in a dream right now? Is this a dream? Can pinch me. Godfrey, can you use your other arm to give me a little pinch? 

Houston [19:26 - 19:53]: Madam, can I. Can I. Can I say something? I admire the literary illusions that you have created in taking in these seven super mutants here. I had a friend way back in the day. We'll call him Ray. And we worried about a world where people didn't read anymore. And it just tells me these old stories still survive. Thank you for that. Thank you. 

Dallas [19:54 - 20:11]: The world and everything in it hasn't caught on fire totally yet. So as she tells this, and as she says that the super mutants will come after you, they start looking a little uncomfortable where she brings up them exacting violence against you guys. 

Lady Grey [20:12 - 20:19]: So here's the deal. You're gonna have to accept my plan before I even tell you it. You just gotta tell me now, are you in or are you out? 

Gotfree [20:19 - 20:21]: I'm in. In. 

Houston [20:21 - 20:28]: Madam, you are a sophisticated lady. I am definitely in. I am the most in. I have been in this entire debacle. 

Alex/Jake [20:28 - 20:37]: Question just, does, uh. Does Jeremy have to come live with us? Because our shack is really small? But yes, I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I don't want to die. 

Super Dwarf [20:37 - 20:38]: I. 

Alex/Jake [20:38 - 20:40]: But, yeah, I'm in. But I don't have room for Jeremy. 

Super Dwarf [20:40 - 20:41]: Me live here. 

Alex/Jake [20:41 - 20:43]: Oh, sorry, Jeremy. Yeah, no, you're. You're. 

Super Dwarf [20:43 - 20:44]: No. Live with you. 

Alex/Jake [20:44 - 20:50]: Okay. You can stay wherever you want. I just. I need to know if I need to break down that fourth wall in the back. 

Houston [20:50 - 20:53]: I know this girl named Candace that you would get along with. Great. 

Super Dwarf [20:53 - 20:57]: I know. No Candace. No. No Candace. 

Gotfree [20:57 - 21:01]: Oh, believe me, she knows you, sir. She knows you. 

Alex/Jake [21:01 - 21:03]: I don't understand that one. 

Houston [21:03 - 21:05]: Any is a verb, Jeremy. 

Gotfree [21:05 - 21:06]: Jeremy's her boyfriend. 

Alex/Jake [21:06 - 21:13]: No, it's all good. I'm just. Maybe I am stupid. It's after midnight. I'm tired. Okay. Right. 

Dallas [21:13 - 21:13]: Yeah. 

Alex/Jake [21:13 - 21:14]: And. 

Houston [21:14 - 21:24]: And this is gold. We need to podcast after midnight. More. I need to drink more. Murder inducing panicking. 

Alex/Jake [21:24 - 21:26]: Just stop right there. Just drink. Just drink more. 

Dallas [21:26 - 21:27]: Just stop. More. 

Gotfree [21:27 - 21:27]: Just stop it. 

Dallas [21:27 - 21:28]: Drink more. 

Alex/Jake [21:28 - 21:31]: I need to drink more. Okay, cool. 

Dallas [21:32 - 21:34]: That's going on the shirts. 

Alex/Jake [21:36 - 21:40]: Embracing the stupid and drinking more. Brought to you by the grapefruit network. 

Dallas [21:40 - 21:42]: Anyway, continue. 

Gotfree [21:42 - 21:46]: Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy. 

Lady Grey [21:48 - 22:00]: So here it is, fellas. I've been talking to my boys. They think we may know where you can get a fusion core. It's not gonna be a very long trip, but it is gonna be deeper. Into these woods. 

Alex/Jake [22:00 - 22:02]: Okay, you don't say. 

Houston [22:02 - 22:05]: Great. Another side quest, dear. 

Alex/Jake [22:05 - 22:12]: Well, you know what they say. The golden rule of the wasteland is, thou shalt get sidetracked. 

Houston [22:13 - 22:13]: You're not wrong. 

Gotfree [22:13 - 22:14]: Wow. 

Alex/Jake [22:14 - 22:17]: Okay. Oh, no one's that far along into the show. Okay. 

Dallas [22:18 - 22:19]: No, no. 

Alex/Jake [22:19 - 22:19]: Sorry. 

Lady Grey [22:20 - 22:29]: So, here's how we think we know where you might find a fusion core. My friends here, much like you, Jake, grew up in the vault. 

Alex/Jake [22:29 - 22:38]: Really? Which one? Guys, just for future reference, because I don't. I need to know if I'm gonna turn it. Do I turn into one of you all? 

Super Dwarf [22:38 - 22:42]: We hope not. But maybe. Which vault are you from? 

Alex/Jake [22:42 - 23:12]: Well, this is a tricky. I thought I was from 55, okay? I always. I was told it was 55, but then I got out and it said 54. Basically, I found that my entire life, our overseer, like, told us all kinds of crazy stuff that wasn't true, but then made us think it was true. I don't. I don't know what was going on in there, and I am gonna talk to somebody from management, mark my words. But where were you guys from? 

Super Dwarf [23:13 - 23:15]: We are from fault 57. 

Alex/Jake [23:15 - 23:19]: 57? That's, like, right around the road from us? 

Super Dwarf [23:19 - 23:21]: Yes, from north. Okay. 

Houston [23:21 - 23:23]: It's a prime number right there. 

Super Dwarf [23:23 - 23:38]: My grandparents were lumberjacks in Canada. They be bring to vault to help raise bioengineered maple trees. Because they lumberjacks and good with trees. 

Gotfree [23:38 - 23:43]: Okay, what were they bioengineered to do? 

Alex/Jake [23:43 - 23:46]: Guess make more maple syrup would be my guess. 

Super Dwarf [23:46 - 23:55]: They go extra fast. After 100 years of doors shut, scientists start using fav. 

Gotfree [23:55 - 23:56]: I'm sorry, what? 

Super Dwarf [23:56 - 24:01]: Using maple syrup that bioengineered to control fev. 

Alex/Jake [24:01 - 24:05]: Wait, so if I have more maple syrup, it's gonna turn me into one of you guys? 

Gotfree [24:06 - 24:06]: Fev. 

Alex/Jake [24:06 - 24:07]: What. 

Gotfree [24:07 - 24:08]: What is fev? 

Houston [24:08 - 24:09]: That's what I want to know. 

Super Dwarf [24:09 - 24:13]: Fev take people. Make people super mutant. 

Alex/Jake [24:13 - 24:17]: I know. I have eaten so many waffles. Oh, no. 

Super Dwarf [24:18 - 24:25]: Maple syrup good. Maple syrup makes super mutants. Sometimes good, but not all times. 

Houston [24:26 - 24:30]: Oh, that explains. That explains a lot about misses Butterworth. 

Super Dwarf [24:33 - 25:01]: Overseer good man. Overseer fight scientists. Not all. Super mutants be good. Fight breakout. Many super mutants die. All feral super mutants die. Most scientists die. Overseer her hero. Overseer get pushed into fev. That no overseer take too much. Fev turn into big, big super mu. 

Houston [25:01 - 25:03]: Are you. Are you the overseer? 

Super Dwarf [25:03 - 25:09]: No, me not overseer. Overseer Nikolai Kosinski. 

Gotfree [25:09 - 25:12]: I'm sorry, was your big big meant. 

Super Dwarf [25:13 - 25:22]: Yes. Bigger than me. Me look like a little dwarf compared to big, big super mutant Nikolai Kosinski. 

Gotfree [25:22 - 25:24]: Dwarf? Yes. 

Super Dwarf [25:25 - 26:29]: Overseer fight. Only ones left. Us eight. No one left that 100 year ago. 100 years. Nikolai feels so sorry for us. We big, big now. Also very sad. And he feel like he responsible. He turn us loose into wasteland. Better life. He stays behind. He feels guilty. He stays behind. We hurt too much to go back because we make him sad. But we never go back. Too many bad memories for us. So we in the woods and we see this little girl fighting big bear. So we crush bear. Very sad. We don't like violence. No violence for us. But we save her. And she take care of us. He'll boo boos, make us feel better in our tummies as well. She could cook. And now we live here with her. All of us together as family. 

Alex/Jake [26:29 - 26:32]: That was freaking adorable. 

Gotfree [26:33 - 26:41]: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I. I seem to be firing too much optical lubricant into my third eye. 

Alex/Jake [26:41 - 26:47]: Stall, Godfrey. Are you leaking? Are you leaking? Do you need a top up? 

Gotfree [26:48 - 26:49]: Yes. Sorry, I. 

Alex/Jake [26:51 - 26:54]: It's just so dusty. It's so dusty out here. 

Gotfree [26:54 - 27:04]: It's just so dusty out here that I have some fun optical lubricant over my eyes. Talk. I don't be able to see Munchy. 

Super Dwarf [27:04 - 27:09]: In charge of cleaning munchies. Terrible. He lazy. Bad, bad Munchy. 

Alex/Jake [27:09 - 27:12]: Munchy is lazy. Hmm. Okay. 

Super Dwarf [27:13 - 27:20]: Overseer Kalzinski. Overseer Kosinski has many, many fusion core. 

Alex/Jake [27:21 - 27:25]: Wait a second. Nikolai and Kwazinski. 

Super Dwarf [27:27 - 27:29]: Klausinski. 

Alex/Jake [27:29 - 27:33]: Is this. Is that a Saint Nick joke? 

Super Dwarf [27:33 - 27:45]: Mister Clausinski have maybe fusion core. Maybe Nikolai may be dead. No, no. But vault is to the north. You can check. 

Houston [27:46 - 27:48]: How far to the north? 

Super Dwarf [27:48 - 27:53]: Many, many day travel. You have tiny legs. Many more days. 

Alex/Jake [27:53 - 28:04]: I want to spend a luck point here, Dallas, because I need to figure out part of a plan. Because I have some machinations spinning up here. 

Dallas [28:04 - 28:07]: Okay, you have four out of your five left. 

Alex/Jake [28:07 - 28:26]: I would like to spend one luck point, overseer Dallas. Are super mutants also delectable, tasty treats to cannibals? Or are they repugnant like ghouls are? How. How do the cannibals view super mutants? 

Dallas [28:27 - 28:38]: Based on your knowledge so far, you know that they have avoided ghouls. Cause they are not made of the same delicious meat that humans are, as we all know. 

Super Dwarf [28:38 - 28:39]: Right? 

Dallas [28:39 - 28:56]: And you extrapolate amongst the three of you, based on the brain cells that are there, that they would also not enjoy the taste of any other meat that isn't pure human flesh. So, no, they would not eat a super mutant. 

Alex/Jake [28:56 - 28:57]: It's good to know. 

Dallas [28:57 - 29:03]: Okay, so they will fight anybody that gets in their way. But that doesn't mean that they will eat them. 

Alex/Jake [29:03 - 29:29]: Okay, I think I would like to roll for charisma and speech again. Because I want to try and present an idea to these guys and see if they're game. Okay, so I'm rolling. I have seven and five. So I need a twelve or higher. And I roll a. An eight. First one. 

Dallas [29:29 - 29:30]: An eight. 

Alex/Jake [29:30 - 30:40]: All right. And for the second one, let's see here, 14. All right, just one. Okay, so I walk up to Honkin and I go honkin. I have an idea. The whole reason that we need this fusion core is for our friend Carl and his robot Phyllis. And they're down in dust reach. Now, if we go another two, three days north, and then have to come two or three days back down south, and then we're another two or three days down to Dustridge, I'm really worried that Carl might get overrun by cannibals. And I know that the cannibals won't try to eat you all. So I would love to see if you or a few of your friends, your brothers, would be willing to go down and help guard Carl while we head up to your old vault. Would you all be willing to split up for a bit? 

Super Dwarf [30:41 - 30:43]: We have problems. 

Alex/Jake [30:44 - 30:46]: Okay, what's our problem? 

Super Dwarf [30:48 - 30:51]: We are pacifists. We do not fight. 

Alex/Jake [30:51 - 31:01]: Okay, what if you help hide Carl? Like, they don't even know Carl's there. You all just pretend like you all run the town. 

Super Dwarf [31:02 - 31:03]: We go into town? 

Alex/Jake [31:03 - 31:25]: Yeah, Carl's the only one there with his robot, and he said he was gonna hunker down. So if you tell Carl you're friends with us and he just needs to hide while the cannibals come down, the cannibals won't try to eat you all. And if they don't know Carl is there, then they might leave everybody alone. Would you be okay with that? 

Super Dwarf [31:25 - 31:27]: Me never be to town before. 

Alex/Jake [31:27 - 31:29]: Oh, you'd love it. 

Super Dwarf [31:29 - 31:31]: Disinterested. I scared a little. 

Alex/Jake [31:32 - 31:33]: It's a small town. 

Super Dwarf [31:33 - 31:45]: People hit, scared a super mutant. People run, people scream, people come to our swamp and they try to take super mutant away. So we hide deeper. 

Alex/Jake [31:45 - 31:51]: I get it. Yeah, no, but Carl is a really accepting guy. He's really nice. 

Gotfree [31:51 - 31:58]: But in this instance, honkin people being scared of you is kind of the point. 

Super Dwarf [31:58 - 32:03]: Me not honking. Me snorty honking over there, we very different. 

Alex/Jake [32:03 - 32:10]: What do you say? Would you all be willing to try and do that for us? Just make it look like you all run the town. 

Super Dwarf [32:11 - 32:12]: Carl, your friend. 

Alex/Jake [32:12 - 32:17]: Carl is our friend. Yes, Carl alone. Carl is alone. Yes. 

Super Dwarf [32:18 - 32:19]: We help Carl? 

Alex/Jake [32:19 - 32:20]: Yes. 

Super Dwarf [32:21 - 32:22]: Carl have robot friend. 

Alex/Jake [32:22 - 32:23]: Yes. 

Gotfree [32:23 - 32:24]: Yes. 

Super Dwarf [32:24 - 32:30]: Carl have robot friend. You have robot friend. We have robot friend. 

Alex/Jake [32:30 - 32:31]: Exactly. 

Super Dwarf [32:31 - 32:32]: Is that ironic? 

Alex/Jake [32:32 - 32:35]: It's like. Well, it's more like rain on your wedding day. 

Gotfree [32:36 - 32:39]: You know, some would argue that it's fate. 

Super Dwarf [32:39 - 32:46]: Snorty not get concept of irony. Very good. Hard concept to understand. 

Gotfree [32:46 - 32:49]: Yeah, I get it, snorty consider it a sign. 

Houston [32:49 - 32:53]: Little tropey. Kind of derivative, but I like where the story is going. 

Super Dwarf [32:55 - 33:03]: We agree. We agree. We help Carl. Yeah. Some go with Carl, some stay behind. 

Alex/Jake [33:03 - 33:13]: Perfect. All right, so I have a map here, and I just pull it out, and I go, uh, so, snorty, do you. Do you know how to read a map? 

Super Dwarf [33:13 - 33:19]: I don't, but stompy do. Stompy. Stompy, come here. 

Alex/Jake [33:20 - 33:57]: Hey, Stompy. Ah. So I want to show you on this map, this is. This is our town of Dustridge, as far as I. So you guys carried us while we were blindfolded. So I don't know where we are exactly, but this is where we were. I'm pointing at the river, the small river. And so this is where our town is. And over in this north corner, that's where Carl lives. You can find him there. Tell him that Jake and Godfrey and Houston sent you all and that he needs to hide when the cannibals come. 

Super Dwarf [33:57 - 33:59]: Okay, got it. 

Alex/Jake [33:59 - 34:00]: Well, that was easy. 

Super Dwarf [34:01 - 34:05]: Me take Max, me take friends. We go. 

Alex/Jake [34:05 - 34:06]: Yes, absolutely. 

Super Dwarf [34:07 - 34:07]: We help Carl. 

Alex/Jake [34:07 - 34:09]: Yes, yes, exactly. 

Super Dwarf [34:09 - 34:11]: We hide. Very good at hiding. 

Alex/Jake [34:11 - 34:13]: Yeah, exactly. 

Gotfree [34:13 - 34:14]: Master wink it. 

Houston [34:14 - 34:15]: Did we do it? 

Alex/Jake [34:15 - 34:16]: I think it worked. 

Dallas [34:17 - 34:22]: So the lady in Gray is looking a little upset. 

Alex/Jake [34:22 - 34:23]: Oh, no. 

Dallas [34:24 - 34:46]: Uh oh, no. So she goes over to Honkin and tells Honkin to take his brothers and go inside. So these hulking super mutants climb out of their chairs on the porch and kind of sheepishly duck into the house. She turns towards you guys, looks a little upset. 

Lady Grey [34:46 - 34:57]: So you've manipulated my friends into doing exactly what you want to do and played on their emotions to help your friend. Because they're good people. 

Alex/Jake [34:57 - 35:27]: No, no. I mean, we're not trying to get them to do what we want to keep you safe. And we're also trying to use their plan. But if we leave Carl alone, he's going to die, and that. That ruins the whole point. At that point, you should just tell us to leave and never, you know, never see you ever again, and that'd be fine. But Carl's the reason we're doing this whole thing. So if we have to wait another week. He may not make it. 

Lady Grey [35:27 - 35:39]: All right, fine. Okay. But if anything happens to them, the cannibals will be the least of your worries. I will cut you open with his buzzsaw and shove you inside of him. 

Alex/Jake [35:39 - 35:48]: Can I ask a logistics question? We played the pronoun game there. Which him is who? In that scenario, I'm the one with the buzz saw. 

Dallas [35:48 - 35:48]: Oh, okay. 

Gotfree [35:48 - 35:49]: I know that much. 

Alex/Jake [35:49 - 35:54]: So who's going inside the other one? Is it me? Yes. 

Lady Grey [35:54 - 35:55]: Yes. 

Alex/Jake [35:56 - 35:57]: Oh, dear. 

Lady Grey [35:58 - 36:04]: Okay, yeah, you'll basically be the turducken of people. So are we good? 

Gotfree [36:06 - 36:09]: I'm not even people. I'm still worried. 

Alex/Jake [36:09 - 36:25]: I don't want anything bad to happen to them. And I'm fairly certain from everything that I can understand about the cannibals that they're not interested eating the super mutants. So hopefully they can just help Carl hide and they just pass on by. 

Gotfree [36:26 - 36:37]: Plus, my storage compartment is cavernous, as we've established before, and I want neither of you inside of me. So please. I hope this works. 

Alex/Jake [36:38 - 36:39]: I hope so. 

Lady Grey [36:39 - 36:43]: All right, let's pack up. Guess I'm heading north with you guys. 

Dallas [36:44 - 36:44]: Who? 

Gotfree [36:44 - 36:45]: I feel safe now. 

Lady Grey [36:47 - 36:56]: We're heading to vault 57. We're gonna hurry up, get in, get out, be done, and come home as soon as possible because I need all my boys back together. 

Alex/Jake [36:56 - 36:58]: Sounds like a plan, ma'am. 

Dallas [37:00 - 37:08]: So she pulls the knife out, and in a flash, cuts open your restraints without you even seeing her move. 

Gotfree [37:12 - 37:14]: Big stretch. 

Alex/Jake [37:14 - 37:21]: Isn't that right, buddy? Wait, I thought you were kind of like our pet. 

Gotfree [37:22 - 37:24]: And I hover away. 

Alex/Jake [37:25 - 37:29]: Can I. Can I ask you, what should we call you? 

Lady Grey [37:29 - 37:32]: You can call me Lady Grey. 

Alex/Jake [37:33 - 37:36]: Lady Gray. Well, it's nice to meet you. 

Lady Grey [37:38 - 37:39]: What have you been calling me? 

Gotfree [37:39 - 37:48]: The gray lady. You'll understand that when you're older. Bye. Just go with it. 

Houston [37:50 - 37:52]: It's a Harry Potter reference. 

Gotfree [37:52 - 37:55]: Well, of course it is. Way to point it out. 

Houston [37:55 - 37:57]: Nope, he wasn't getting it. 

Dallas [37:58 - 38:25]: So the super mutants come pouring out of the door. They have sticks with bundles attached to the end of them, ready to go on their trip. They also carry large axes as well. Some of them split up into one group, others split up into another, and some of them head south while the other ones wait here for you guys. 

Alex/Jake [38:25 - 38:37]: Is this where I insert Charlie puth when I see you again? As they're splitting off down the road? I don't think we have the money for that one, guy. Sorry. 

Dallas [38:38 - 38:40]: If you sing, I think the more. 

Houston [38:40 - 38:46]: Obvious one is I. Ho hi ho. It's all worked beat me to it. 

Dallas [38:46 - 38:55]: Now I can't use that reference. So we have our group split up and our travelers get into the world. 

Alex/Jake [38:55 - 40:24]: 57 well, I think that that was probably the most wholesome exchange, and, uh, I don't think I've laughed that hard since we learned the fate of die hard versus Charlie Brown. And if you didn't understand that reference, now's a great time to tell you that our show is a production of the great network. We have two other sister shows. If you like what you hear on the Big Red button, we highly recommend you go check out our two other sister shows. A doctor and a lawyer walk into a bar, which is our pop culture game night meets table topics chat show. Yeah, or check out Potter plus, which is our Harry Potter wizarding world show that's going to be focused on the new HBO show coming. But we got lots of goodies in the meantime. And if you really enjoyed the big Red button specifically and what you heard just now, we'd love for you to follow us on whichever podcasting platform is your choice. Give us as great of a rating as possible, preferably. That would be the nice way to do it. And if you'd really like to support the show, highly recommend you check out our Patreon patreon.com grapefruit network. All of those links are in the description below. So with that, we've been the big red button. I have been Jake Winger. Apparently I'm pretty good at talking to dwarves that are actually 12ft tall. 

Houston [40:25 - 40:28]: I'm Ray Bad, Bradbury's best friend, Houston. 

Dallas [40:28 - 40:28]: There you go. 

Gotfree [40:30 - 40:34]: I'm Godfrey, and I've been a fan of the grey lady before. The grey lady was cool. 

Dallas [40:34 - 40:37]: And I am your very human overseas here. 

Alex/Jake [40:37 - 40:42]: And we will catch you all next week. Bye. Cheerio.